So true on so many levels.
There are few things that I’m always obsessed with [in no particular order - don’t worry peeps, peanut butter does not rank above you, although it is pretty dang close ;)]:
Anything but Pants
The Gym (I go to different locations depending on my mood)
Spending time with my Mom
Visiting California and my Dad
My puppies: Koda & Rascal
Bronzer (the face powder, not like the spray stuff)
Anything that smells like coconut or sugar (birthday cake)
Cheesecake, Red Velvet Cake, & Key Lime Pie
Dancing like no one is watching
Singing along to everything
or Sunday Girl Fundays (especially in the summer when we can go to the rooftop bars in Minneapolis)
Patios in the summer
Bonfires in the fall
The first snowfall (bonus points if it’s at night, so the snow glitters)
Trying to remember not to take life too seriously
When Munchkin was actually my Munchkin… (can you go back to being all cute and 9 years old again????)
Meeting New People
Learning from my mistakes
Discovering who I am
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computers history if you die (not that I watch porn, but some things my dad never needs to know).
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong (and yet, you’ve been arguing for 30 minutes, so you keep arguing).
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger (is it appropriate to nap under my desk at work?).
4. There is a great need for a “sarcasm” font (especially with text messaging).
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary (especially since kids these days don’t even know what cursive is, thanks to technology)?
7. Google Maps really needs to start their directions at #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t a least kind of tired (especially on Mondays and Fridays).
10. Bad decisions make good stories (in every way possible, this is the biggest truth there is).
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day (usually this happens for me around 10 am daily).
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again (but seriously, I’m glad I finally got rid of that VCR…)
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this - ever (Because guaranteed some asshat will probably end up shrinking my $80 100% wool cute as shit Banana Republic cardi that I JUST bought…)
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to vm. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away (ok, but if you call me and I don’t answer, it’s because I was praying you wouldn’t answer, and now I just really am too nervous to talk, or didn’t want to actually talk in the first place)?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of any importance the entire day. What a waste (especially if this is on a night out and I just wasted that cute new black mini dress that I just bought last week).
17. I keep some people’s numbers in my cell just so I know NOT to answer when they call (I have Do Not Answer x 6 in my phone currently).
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well (really, so that I can find the ice cream in the freezer in the middle of the night without having my neighbors across the way judging me.. so maybe not so much).
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night that more kisses begin with a beer and some shots more than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option too.
21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize that I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it (Alice in Wonderland, anyone?).
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded paper and plastic bags in each hand, up several flights of stairs and down the block from where I parked my car, than have to make 2 trips to bring all my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text (and then I ALWAYS get greens).
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a single word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent some asshat from cutting in at the front of the line that we’ve all been sitting in for half an hour. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear definitely gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber (and cockier and cockier and sluttier and sluttier) every year?
29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you’re going to die after leaning too far back in your chair (or when you accidentally miss a step while walking down the stairs).
30. As a driver, I hate pedestrians. And as a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what the mode of transportation, I will ALWAYS hate bicyclists (especially the ones in the city…).
31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch (or cell phone or computer screen) 3 consecutive times and still have no clue what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phones in their purses, and Pinning a Tail on a Donkey. But I’d bet my ass that everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 2.5 seconds, eyes closed and get it the first time, every time!
33. Cheese pizza (or cheeseburgers) and beer (or wine) will always be the best comfort food. Ever.
(ok.. so I stole-ish this from some where, but it’s seriously the truth. and the last one is all me)
Since I moved to Minnesota, and I’m an identical twin, all I hear from random people I meet who know that, in fact, I live in Minne-snow-ta, and I also am, in fact, a twin, is the clever pun that I must be one of the Minnesota Twins. Hence the Minnesota Twinism that will be occurring. All you clever people out there can rest at ease finally; I’m acting on your genius idea. Aren’t you glad you don’t conform?
I’ve also heard a million and three times, A-man-da-hug-n-kiss. A-man-duh! and such. Please shut the fark up. You’re not funny. It’s actually beyond annoying. So is the clever, and witty little song the boys used to sing to me on the playground growing up “Amanda, Amanda, farts like a Panda”. Really? I fart like a Panda? Interesting, sir. And how do YOU know what a panda fart is like? And while we’re on the subject of Pandas and Amanda, my favorite book as a preschool child was “Amanda’s first day of school.” Guess what kind of animal Amanda was? That’s right. A god damn Panda. Hell yah! At least I had a book made after me, dumbshit! (Ok, she wasn’t actually a panda, but she was a bear, and her best friend Becky was a panda. Alright, that’s not true either, but I swear there is a freaking panda in that book somewhere…)
Anyways.. So now you know.
I’m a twin.
I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
& I farking hate Pandas.
(wordpress sucks huge cock apparently and decided to go all html on my ass, so i decided to say fark that and try out this tumble ish… all the cool kids are doing it, or so i’ve been told. so I guess it’s my turn to take a sip of the Kool-Aid)